In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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