she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
he fucked my hip out of place.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So vagazzling was a success
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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