just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize