Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
My vagina just clenched in fear
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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