I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize