Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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