I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
