If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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