OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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