at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
