After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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