Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
