wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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