Those balls look pretty dangerous.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
