I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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