we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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