We named our party play list daddy issues
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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