I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
should my penis look like a turkey
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
