I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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