Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
