i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize