in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
