everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He better not be in your backpack
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
