just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
