I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
