..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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