ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
