Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Randomize
