she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
So squirting runs in the family.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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