I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
