CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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