Quick, to the slutcave!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
