guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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