And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
