Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
