Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I still have a little drunk in my system
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Damn victory sex feels great
You ruined the universe
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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