they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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