dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
