i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
