I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I am one with the molecules
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
