No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
