I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
