I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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