I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
