we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
