We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
