if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
