so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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