Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
