Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
