i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
