They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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