Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
