Please, let me fuck your mom
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The power of my boobs compel you
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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