he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Houston, we have a squirter
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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