i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
