she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
